I was asked the other day the following questions…
Why even bother talking about ecstatic birth?
Why does it really matter?
Why would women want to hear this?
Birth does not need to be a sexual experience, but giving birth IS a sexual experience. In other words, you don’t need to have an orgasmic birth, pain free birth, or ecstatic birth to experience the sexual nature of labor and birth. But it is wise to know that giving birth is part of your sexuality, part of your sexual continuum. Lets take a look at the sexual elements of birth and you will see these common components in almost all births:
- erotic sounds
- body positions and postures
- women instinctively wanting to ‘touch’ themselves
- after glow
- arch of the body
- shape of her mouth
- eyes rolling back
- body scent
- ejection reflex – similar to the orgasmic reflex
As you can see, without even realizing it or thinking about it, birth is instinctively a sexual expression.
I believe that when we embrace the journey of conception, pregnancy, labor and birth from this perspective women can tap into the wholeness and potential of giving birth consciously, in a state of profound surrender and pleasure rather than from a disjointed and painful place.
When the fullness of this feminine journey is honored, you can become empowered and when you are in your power you will make choices that no longer dis -empower, no longer give your birth away to some governing body that claims to know more than you … by accepting the erotic ecstatic and sexual nature of birth you may begin to honor this journey differently. Claiming your ‘rights’ and expressing yourself in strength and courage, rather than fear and pain. By accepting the sexual nature of birth and becoming comfortable with this notion and statement, you are already altering the experience you are about to have!
The medical institution has de-sexualized pregnancy and birth – all for good reasons – to maintain power over and control of the birthing woman! Deeper yet, culturally, we have tried to remove the sexual nature of humanity as being something very real, raw, human, and normal… instead we pushed it aside and underground, sexuality is now expressed through magazines, billboards, pornography, internet, erotic books, underground clubs etc. And to really claim our human sexuality as something very normal is still quit taboo! Therefore, it is not shocking that accepting the sexual nature of birth is also taboo and a force that has been pushed down, ignored or controlled. Hard to trust our sexual nature if all around we are told to distrust this power, told it is dangerous, shamed for it, or abused by it.
It is worth considering the truth that birth is inherently a sexual experience, not as something to strive towards but rather, as a truth to surrender into and experience for yourself.
The journey of pregnancy and birth is a woman’s vision quest – if she so chooses to embark upon it with that mindset. And in here in lies the paradox:
Birth is simple, straight forward, a matter of fact, physiological and instinctive, life giving and in the end, the mother gives birth, claims her baby, and life goes on. It does not need to be anything special, because it happens every minute of the day..
Birth turns a woman inside out, transforms her from the maiden into a mother, challenges the core of who she is and what she is made of… it is one of the most powerful transformational experiences we women will experience… IF we want it to be!
It is a moment in a woman’s life when nothing really changes, and yet, EVERYTHING changes! To some it really is no big fucken deal… women give birth period, stop fussing about it!
To others it is everything, to be fully embraced and experienced to its peak potential!
And therefore, what I am proposing is that we seriously pause for a moment and ask ourselves:
“How do we/you want to give birth to this next generation?”
In Love and Consciousness – Awakened
In Fear and Numbness – Asleep
To embrace the fullness of pregnancy and birth (and the sexual nature of birth is part of this) means that you are choosing to embrace the potential and fullness of ALL of who YOU ARE! Tapping into your birthing power and potential, i believe, opens doors for you to tap into your human potential. Furthermore, assists in developing the courage and strength to tap into the depths and grace of the human heart and the energy of love!
When you surrender to the sexual flow of labor and birth, allowing your body to be flooded with the love making hormones, you will be basked in love and in return, fear & pain will decrease. And yet, having said all of this, you cannot give birth from the mind, you cannot make your birth sexual, you cannot will it or even intend it… it just is, and in trusting this process and trusting your body, your birth will unfold as it is meant to unfold.
You can only surrender to the experience of your birth, in excitement and trust, knowing that your body and baby know what they are doing. Just as you finally let go in the throws of love making, as you leave your mind and engage the present pleasure, enter fully into the experience and sensation of erotic love making… You choose to do the same in labor and birth!
Birth is meant to push boundaries, push your comforts, pull your attention towards the intensity, asks you to be fully present, challenges you, sends you into chaos etc! AND how you choose to deal with all of this determines your journey. It provides you with an opportunity to find your power, find your voice, connect with your body, be awe struck, fall in love, and feel ALIVE.
Birth was never meant to be an experience that you need to escape from, but rather a journey of courage (heart) and excitement, passion, and power and to be embraced with full attention.
In any moment you are able to be who you are, deeply and without effort, fulfillment is perfect, love is complete, freedom is endless. David Deida
So, I am asking you, what you want to experience in your labor and birth? Why you want to experience your birth in that manner? What is of essential importance to you? Why does giving birth in all of its power really matter to you? What are you going to do to prepare yourself for this powerful time? And in the end, how are you going to use this journey as an opportunity to find ways to live from the heart?